Day 66: Mood

I wrote I didn't care about drowning. I guess it's true. I keep going back to that film, The Big Blue, and to that haunting final scene in which the main character swims away from the line and into the open sea, into the darkness. It's a peaceful scene. Quiet. Eerie. Surreal. It angered me when I first saw it. A lot of things angered me when I was young (many things still anger me, but they are different things). Back then, it was that resignation, that surrendering without a fight that bothered me so much.

I didn't want that for myself. I didn't want to surrender. And yet, these days, it is as if someone had taken the fight out of me. My father said it about himself and his brother some time ago when they were both alive, but too tired for anything: "Daríamos batalla pero ya no tenemos ánimo.¨ There is no good translation for it, really, but it would be something like, "we would fight it, but we are no longer in the mood for it."

10:04 pm

Canada cases 81,575

Deaths 6150

Recoveries 40,793

World cases 4,996,634

World deaths 328,120

World recoveries 1,897,473