Day 82: Nice?


North America, people often are nice. Niceness is how they relate to one another. It is the reason I never quite fit in. It's not that I'm not nice, but that I am not nice. There is a difference, of course. In my day-to-day interactions with humans, it is not my main directive to just be nice. Polite is enough for social situations.

Today I was made to think about this when one of my colleagues, who is more junior but in a clear position of power in reference to me, derided my work, told me how I must change it, and declared that, if I ever presented her with that, she would leave the room and not come back. I should clarify that she has a point. We were discussing a very sensitive issue that could have a profound effect on the lived experiences of vulnerable people. Her objections are both valid and noted. I wish I could say that she also noted the fact that I have been given a great deal of thought to this matter and that I was aware of the potential issues before they were pointed out to me. She couldn't have known (because I have not told this to anyone) how much I have agonized about the inclusion of those matters and how personally affect me. But I digress...

What I cannot understand is what I perceive as an underlying hostility towards me from this colleague. I have been reflecting on this and I wonder whether this might be a cultural issue. I have not been nice to her in the way she expects others to be. This is not because I don't want to be, but because I express myself differently.

My main directive is not niceness, but helpfulness. It has always been like that.

10:32 pm

Canada cases 95,947

Deaths 7778

Recoveries 53,074

World cases 6,734,591

World deaths 394,887

World recoveries 2,746,332 (lower than yesterday. Was there a mistake?)